where do i go from here?

alrite.one day has passed since tagedy.well,im worried abt my mum.wonder how she's doing.i wonder when she's coming back?!and how she's coping in manila.din get to say bye.she took the 1pm flight.i was still in fucking sch.only managed to send a msg.not enough.I MISS HER!sigh.rarr!well today was kinda productive.went to mabel's hse to study.den headed to west mall to "eat".hahahs[ifyouknowwhatimean]yeah headed to the special place.plan to go to the other special place next week. :]

yeah well,i dunno where i shld go from here.i dont necessarily wanna move on,i dont wanna stand still either.so what now?i don wanna live in pain all my life?or is that wat im destined to do??

dont know what to do with myself lately.feel like im dragging myself ard.like dead weight.when i lie in bed looking at the ceiling,thinking of what will become of me,i feel like im dead.a corpse.jus lying there.but still alive,sadly.still have a pulse.mind,STILL racing.thoughts still running thru my head.but i dunno what to make of them.

like i said,i dont know how to handle myself anymore.its kinda useless feeling lousy or crying.its jus that im kinda stuck.n it feels terrible.awful.draining.depressing.i know im not exactly a fun person anymore..well,tat's jus too bad..ill stop here,cus there's really nth i can do.tc ppl.bye.

"broken dreams are all i have,yo[u] are all i want"